Short term revenue

During today’s indulgence in YouTube-hosted business advice, I received an excellent bit of wisdom from the ever-charming Marie Forleo.  She stated that we should not be afraid to sacrifice “short term revenue for long term gains.” This advice resonates when it comes to communicating with other people.  So often, we are focused on the short-term…

Read more

The wall

When we feel under threat, misunderstood, ill-used, or otherwise hard done by, we tend to put up walls.  They are our mental defence mechanism, a way of deflecting conversations that might make us feel bad, or uncomfortable, or wrong. When we say that someone “put a wall up between us,” we usually refer to someone becoming quiet…

Read more

Communicating Intimately #4: Intimate cues

Throw your audience a bone. Really. Give them a clue, a hint, an indication that you are opening yourself up to an intimate exchange.  All the heartfelt intentions in the world won’t tell the audience you are open to them unless you give them some form of physical cue. Note what I said there:  physical…

Read more

Communicating Intimately #3: Intimacy within a business

Have you ever been in the desperately uncomfortable position of having a “buddy” conversation with your supervisor, or being in charge of an employee who treats you more like a therapist than a manager?  I’ve never experienced the latter, but know several colleagues who have.  The former has happened to me in a few situations,…

Read more

Fill-in post: How to Listen

I started working on the next instalment on communicating intimately this weekend, and then got slammed with a nasty infection.  Needless to say, it has completely derailed my writing efforts.  Hopefully the antibiotics kick in soon (seriously – even the cartilage on my ears hurts). In the meantime, I would like to leave you with the following blog post…

Read more

When tone is more important than content

I interrupt our series on communicating with intimacy to bring you a long overdue bit of Friday Silliness. In today’s lesson, Toby Turner – also known as the YouTube personality Tobuscus – demonstrates how tone can completely contradict content.  Alliteration aside, it is a useful lesson. Tobuscus: Dramatic Song   Does your chorus sound like Coldplay?

Read more

Communicating Intimately #2: The Experience

The funny thing about establishing intimacy with an audience is that it doesn’t necessarily matter whether you, the speaker, feel that an intimate moment has been shared.  Like just about any desired emotion, what really matters is that your audience feels it.  They, quite frankly, don’t give a damn about what’s going on in your own…

Read more

Communicating Intimately #1: introducing intimacy

A major goal that I assign to all my clients as well as to myself is that of creating intimacy with your audience.  I’ve had people react to this instruction with everything from nervous eagerness to fear and apprehension.  The difficulty with intimacy – aside from the fact that it increases our own vulnerability, which…

Read more

The Joy of Euphemisms

Layered meaning makes conversation so much more interesting.  While plain-speak is generally the best way to conduct most business – after all, one’s goal should never be to stymie your clients or colleagues – there are opportunities where you can have some fun in a conversation and imply the Things that Cannot Be Said Aloud.  Euphemisms and…

Read more

The bandwagon of uncertainty

You know, like, totally whatever? That aggravating upwards lilt of the voice makes you sound like an non-confident teen girl.  I will be merciless when it comes to stripping you of that most wretches of speaking habits! I will also make you watch Taylor Mali’s brilliant freestyle poetry on that very topic. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGAMd-tT6fQ&w=420&h=315] Y’know.

Read more